Life is a constant cycle of grief

How would you feel if I was to suggest that life is a constant cycle of grief, or more probably many cycles of grief, all in different stages of process?

Imagine that your life is a globe filled with many balls of grief each in its own stage. Depending on how the globe sits, or is held, or can be seen will determine how each day progresses. If the globe shifts, is moved, pushed in a particular direction all the grief balls may also re-position and maybe seen differently, generating other affects on your day.  This is change, happening around us all the time and affecting us differently as each change may or may not impact on one, many or no other ball(s) of grief.

The grief process is not all sadness

As we are all aware, the grief process is not all sadness, many other emotions are experienced as we process grief. I believe that for happiness to be felt and enjoyed, grief and sadness needs to also be felt and experienced. It is impossible to be constantly happy, and who truly wants to experience no other emotion or felt sensation other than happiness? Actually happiness would not be what we define it to be, for our inherent need to experience a range of emotions is what enables us to understand what happiness can be.

Let’s use hunger in first world society as an analogy. For those of us lucky enough to be living in a first world society we take the accessibility of food for granted. For many of us the worse we experience is only being able to get apples when all we want is an egg. We have the luxury of choice to go without food for a nominated amount of time if we wish to experience hunger, and even that is different from the hunger experienced in other societies where food is scarce. So to, our desire for happiness is enabled by choice and so to our experience of happiness will be different to that of our neighbour’s.

So, in our first world society, all our drives and expectations that if we’re not happy something is wrong is a misunderstanding. We have choices, every day we make choices and they are determined by the stage of grief through which we presently view our life, the globe. This does not make us a society of miserable beings, this does not make us a society of permanent grievers or sufferers; it makes us a society adept at experiencing change. It makes us human.

Understanding our humanness

By understanding our humanness and being aware of grief processes, of losses that may have been overlooked (loss of time, moving of home, relationship breakdowns, not being heard) we can acknowledge and accept the changes that have occurred in and around us. By holding our globe in different positions we are offered opportunity to choose how to continue in our life with this change, no matter how large or small.

Having choice is a gift, accepting it through all our emotions is life.  #preventMHI #mentalhealthawareness